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17 September 2026

dummy
Picture of Royce Chezman III

Royce Chezman III

Non-Verbal Man Looking To Hire Lifelike dummy to sit motionless in corner at Various Holiday Functions

  • Special Report

Live or animatronic Dummy. No experience necessary; $15/hr; opportunity For advancement

Are you the weak, silent-type? Already paralyzed? Or maybe just a solid listener who is able to survive up to 6 hours on a few crackers? If so, an exciting opportunity awaits…

An anonymous, 50ish social-engineering hobbyist with ALS is looking to hire a qualified surrogate to attend various events over the holidays.

Applicant/s should be:

  • Neatly-groomed
  • Able to sit 6 hours without moving or speaking
  • Casually attired
  • Content with keeping ideas to self
  • Affable
  • Morbidly pale
ALS Bros | Treg blurAuthentic Man with ALS
ALS Bros | Dummy by bed sq
Imposter Faking ALS

Applicant must remain poised and sober, even while those around you have a spectacular time.

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The ALS Association is a non-profit that operates chapters across the US, providing local patient support services and funding national research initiatives.
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