NEWS TIDBITS FOR PEOPLE WHO LACK FOCUS
"HAVE YOU SEEN THE HAMMER, HUN?" STUDY REVEALS 80% OF TINY HOUSE RELATIONSHIPS END IN MURDER-SUICIDE
HONEYCOMB HIDEOUT INVESTIGATION REVEALS DISTURBING DEMOGRAPHIC SHIFT TOWARD SINGLE 50+ MALES
BEHIND CLOSED DOORS: NO ONE SHOCKED BY GIRLFRIEND'S REVELATION "HEF" WAS DIRTY OLD PERV
HOW? CLEVELAND FANS DESERVE HONEST EXPLANATION WHY JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE IS STILL A THING
COLOGUARD INVENTOR ADMITS PRANK WENT TOO FAR: NEVER IMAGINED 'ADULTS WOULD AGREE TO SHIT IN BOX, MAIL TO A STRANGER'
ULTIMATE SENIOR PRANK: OVER 40 YEARS AGO, CLASS OF '84 BLEW UP SQUAW ROCK AND REPLACED WITH HAND-CARVED REPLICA
MY BACK PAGES
EVEN AFTER 2010 ALS DIAGNOSIS, LOCAL MAN LIKED CHANCES TO OUTLIVE JOHN MADDEN
KARMA: GENIUS BEHIND SUMMER OF STINK AT OSU CAMPUS PUBS NOW STRICKEN WITH LOU GEHRIG'S DISEASE
ALS 'PERFECT FIT' FOR MAN WHO DREAMED OF LEISURELY LIFESTYLE WHERE EVERYONE FORCED TO FEED HIM TACOS
CAUGHT ON CAMERA: HANDICAPPED MAN STEALING PEN TRIES TO PASS SELF OFF AS LATE SENATOR BOB DOLE
CHAGRIN TEENS TAG QUADRIPLEGIC WITH CRUEL NICKNAMES LIKE 'RACIST BOSS HOGG' AND 'PHAT CHURCHILL'
MAN LEFT UNATTENDED OVERNIGHT AT WALMART REWARDED FOR SILENCE; RECEIVES HIGH-END BIRD FEEDER
"DON'T GIVE UP ON US, BABY" - ADORING WIFE BELIEVED IN CONSTIPATED MAN WHEN NO ONE ELSE WOULD
IF HAWKING SO SMART: "SHOULD HAVE SPENT TIME INVESTIGATING ALS, NOT DAYDREAMING ABOUT STUPID BLACK HOLES"
